After Graduation

Yesterday it was brought to my attention that we are currently in week 12 of this semester. Week 12 of 16 of my final semester!

Since it's my final semester, people are constantly asking me what I'm going to do after graduation. I know I've had a few years to figure it out, but I'm still just not sure. It's terrifying to think about and between classes, working six days a week, and planning for a wedding, my job hunt just keeps falling by the wayside. The pressure from all of this is really starting to weigh on me, and today I'm having one of those days where I just want to curl up into a fetal position and shut down for a while.

This pressure has gotten me thinking quite a bit about my future career and what I want it to be. Obviously I wouldn't be able to handle a high-pressure environment. But those are the kind of jobs we're supposed to want. High-pressure jobs that allow you to make lots of money. But right now I'm a secretary for the English Department here on campus, which is work for sure, but it's nice work. Nobody is breathing down my neck for something to submit for a tight deadline, if I mess something up a little bit, nothing really bad happens, and I get to talk to people all day.

Honestly, I'd like to continue working in a similar environment, because I really like it here. Being involved in academia means things are never stagnant because every day's schedule is different, and I'm not the biggest fan of monotony (like anyone is). I always have plenty of work to keep me busy and that is important enough that I know I'm needed, but very rarely does something ultra stressful come up. Plus, the people I work with are wonderful individuals whom I don't want to part with.

Going to college "just" to become a secretary is painted as a failure. I'm supposed to become a power-suit wearing high-level executive, or at least aspire to become one through my fearless climb of the corporate ladder. This kind of job just doesn't really appeal to me, not only because it sounds needlessly stressful (how important is that report in the grand scheme of things, really?) but because it would leave me absolutely no energy for my creative pursuits.

I love knitting and writing -- two things that involve a lot of creative energy. If I work at a high-energy job, I know I won't be able to donate my best efforts to the two things that matter to me most. Is it really a failure to want a job that allows me to earn a wage while leaving me with enough will to do what I care about most?